Two Truths and a Lie

I think that the title speaks for itself, but I will elaborate.

My OEM battery in my truck started to get a lot of weird goo and flakes on the top of it. This didn't seem like something that is a positive character for a battery. (Pun entirely, and unapologetically intended).

While I was visiting home for the holidays I ran the truck by Pep Boys. They were pleased to put a new Energizer battery in the right place, clean up the goo, and tell me to pay 70 or 80 bucks. I paid because I didn't have to worry about shocking the shit out of myself.

Fast forward a few days to driving back to Dallas. I'm hitting the road in Oklahoma like any true Texan: fast and with a lot of disgust. Then my bladder tells me that it's time to either pee in a bottle or turn into the stupid Oklahoma I-35 rest stop.

Bottles are difficult to pee in (even for boys), so I decide to stop.

Then the truck won't start. I sit there for a little bit, and I look around, and I open the hood, and I look around some more. Then, like any good mechanic, I jiggle some wires. Suddenly there is power.

I drive.

For the next few days the same thing happens every now and then. The truck won't start, so I open the hood and jiggle.

Enough is enough.

I take it to a nearby Pep Boys and tell them that they fucked up my battery. Basically, they didn't put on a new clamp that would actually connect to the grounding terminal. The guy is smug. I get smug. He gets smuger. I tell him that I can talk to the manager. He gets a little less smug.

I'm such a stupid male sometimes.


Eventually he says that they'll put on a new clamp and everything, but I have to wait for an hour in the little room with a senile old lady, and I have to pay money for the clamp.

Since he has the clamp and the tools: he wins.

My truck is now running again without weird hiccups.