Two Truths and a Lie

About a month ago the campus doctor diagnosed me with having a hernia. In fact, he said that it was on that should be treated with surgery. I went ahead and got an apointment with the doctor who would be able to do my surgery.

Today was the day that I went in to talk to the doctor. I was actually supposed to go yesterday. I called a little before to verify that I actually had the appointment. They told me the doctor was in the middle of an emergency surgery and wouldn't be able to meet with me. They did a good job about getting me set up with an appointment today. At least I didn't have to go in to the office and wait, and wait, and wait.

After all this anticipation the doctor came in and did the little turn your head and cough test. It's the test that I hate. It's actually the test that everyone should hate. Cough, cough. Then he said to cough some more. Cough, cough. MORE. Cough, cough. MORE! More!!! Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough.

That was all. He told me to sit down and gave me the good news. You don't have a hernia but you have a little impusle. What is an impulse? I am not sure. No hernia is definitely good news.

The bad news was that he wanted to talk to me awhile about proper hernia prevention. Everything from wearing whitey tighteys to showing me the mesh. Then he showed me a hernia guard that I could buy at any 24-hour drug store. You would think this would be the end of the consult, but no. He then said that they used to do it differently on the ranch. He then showed me some weird leather contraption that was like a homemade resolution to hernias.

It was time to get out of there.